dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
