how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
