Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(

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(571): View more from Virginia

is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?

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(402): View more from Nebraska

This girl wants me to lick her pits

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

pits??

(402): View more from Nebraska

Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though

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(720): View more from Colorado

So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.

(970): View more from Colorado

well, dont

(720): View more from Colorado

I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.

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(972): View more from Texas

I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall

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(360): View more from Washington

He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.

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(228): View more from Mississippi

She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.

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(817): View more from Texas

On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.

(682): View more from Texas

Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"

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