Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
