I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
