Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
