big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
is that a dick in a sweater?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
