You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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