Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
