So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Alive.
So much puke
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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