I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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