I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
So many bounce houses so little time
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
