i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
