And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
