I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
