Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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