Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
