Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
