Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
