i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
