Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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