Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
