I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
