Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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