I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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