If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
