Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I cockslap morals
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize