You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
