i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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