another moral hangover. fuck.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
