Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
