I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
