Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
