Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
