i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
