If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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