I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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