Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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