you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
