well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you have to choose: penises or morals?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I think people are normalizing furries
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
