And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
