I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Rumble strips road head = magical
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize