why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
And then my night got REAL pukey
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
