I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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