Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
