listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
