last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
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