Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
