i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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