At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
