She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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