This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
