His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
