On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize