fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
