yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
