you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
that may or may not have been my penis.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
