Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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