: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
