uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
