She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize